When Pastor Brad asked today: if we push back when God tries to convict us, a moment immediately came to me:

Not all testimonies are going to be happy and joyful. This is one; a heartbreaking true story.

Title could be: “When you don’t do something, you could be sinning.” Or when “God pleads with you, just do it”.

This story is one of the greatest regrets of my life and difficult to write. It was about 26 plus years ago. It was a Wednesday; I remember it well because it was the day the grocery ads sales started. I drove my 6 year old to school, drove to the church I was a member. I had administrative duties at the church, I signed some checks for the church’s secretary, dropped off minutes for the last meeting.

On my way out of the church parking lot, there was a street straight ahead. I saw a young lady, she looked like a student from the high school about 200 yards up the street. She was sitting on the ground leaning on a block wall behind a bush. Her head was down. “Go see if she is okay”, I said to myself.  I should have driven straight instead of turning right. I don’t know why I didn’t, I had my “list” it was a busy day, every excuse, “she will be okay”.

The Holy Spirit told me to turn around, three times.  “Turn around before it is too late!”.

I didn’t stop, I kept going but kept thinking about her, I prayed for her.  Yes, I should have turned around. I had the thought she might be hurt, pregnant something bad that kept her from going to school that day. I went about my day and checking off my stupid list.

On Sunday morning the adult Bible study gathered at 9:00. A couple shared information about their son’s girlfriend, I’ll call her Jen. She was pregnant by their son, and when Jen told her mother, the mother became extremely angry and threw one of those old heavy desk phones at her. The mother told her she was going to take her to the clinic for an abortion. When Jen refused her mother told Jen she couldn’t live there anymore if she doesn’t get the abortion. The mother didn’t want her to be a bad influence on her younger sister.

Jen was the girl across the street from the church and she was praying that morning.  I knew her, I knew her boyfriend. Both were sweet, smart kids.

My guilt was overwhelming, then I heard she went back home that Wednesday night and told her mother she would have the abortion. The next day the baby was no more.

I replayed my selfishness my DISOBEDIENCE over and over, why didn’t I drive straight or turn around.  I could have listened to her story, offered her a place to stay, and called child protective services on the mother. That baby would have been about 27 years old today.

I feel responsible for what happened.  Her mother on the other hand said to Jen on the way to the abortion clinic, “Remember this is your choice.”  Jen didn’t see any choice; she was coerced, devastated and lost.   We all sinned that day. I am truly sorry. I will never forget. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s instructions and just do it.